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It was the end of 2010. I was starting to question the existence of God while my spouse was as Christian as ever. Sometimes I did not understand how he could keep believing in a God who had made him this way and then said that he couldn’t do anything about it. I couldn’t understand how it was god-honoring for a person to live their life “the way god wanted them too” while being miserable and secretly hoping that they would get into an accident somehow that would force the removal of the hormone producing organs that caused them so much mental anguish. The thought reminded me of some Quiverfull women I had encountered who in their exhaustion wished that a horrible labour and childbirth would cause a uterine rupture or something, nothing too drastic, but enough to cause the removal of their reproductive organs and the reassurance that they would be done having kids without ever having to "disobey" God's command to be fruitful and multiply. But the idea of limiting children through artificial means to save their life or their sanity wasn't acceptable? It was better to live life trying to glorify God with the lot he had given you? I used to think that people like that just had a bad attitude and needed to find a way to be happy with whatever God had decreed for them, now I was starting to wonder if they were just stuck in a sick system.
My spouse often asked if he should stop talking about transgender questions and issues. He worried that maybe this was too much for me and that he should just fight this alone. But I had seen how healing it was for me to talk about my own issues and to let my kids express their feelings, and I didn’t want him to have to go back to bottling it all up. So I encouraged him to continue processing as much as he needed too, and told him I would always be here to listen. Now instead of being distant or depressed on a regular basis he tried to talk about the overwhelming gender dysphoria, trying to sort out who he was and where he fit.
He had begun to relax and be himself more. He started letting down his guard and not double checking how he was moving his hands when he talked or worrying that the way he crossed his legs was “too feminine.” He started buying his own clothes, choosing colors and styles that were closer to his sense of self than the pants and polo ensemble he had been letting me buy for him. We joked that he had enough style for both of us; I tended to be very practical in my clothing choices, comfort being my highest priority, but he actually cared about how he looked and that began to be reflected in his sense of style.
The dad who used to come home and usually disappeared into the basement to play video games had turned into a parent who played on the floor with the kids every day. He wanted to be involved in their day to day lives. He was learning how to feed them and dress them, he started taking them for bedtime walks bundled up in the wagon in the pajama’s each clutching a bedtime snack and their blankies. He would talk about how 3 babies seemed to be more work than 2, and I would laugh at him and explain that to me this was the easiest parenting period yet, because he was parenting them alongside me for the first time. He stopped complaining that grocery shopping was women’s work and began going with us to the store on his day off, I didn’t have to shop alone with multiple babies and toddlers anymore.
Genuine smiles had been few and far between during the last few years, I used to have to tickle him to get him to give a real smile for pictures. Now he was smiling all the time, and laughing. Instead of shrugging and vaguely referencing a life led by whatever ministry dictated, he was dreaming about the future again. Crazy loopy dreams, like driving out to Alaska or teaching English abroad or becoming a makeup artist in the movie industry. He was getting piles of books out of the library and reading sections of them aloud after years of saying he was too busy reading theology to check out anything else. It was as if his world had become more 3-dimensional. He was swimming regularly and had lost a lot of excess weight and had started letting his hair grow longer. Sometimes I caught him in front of the mirror, he would look at his reflection and say in wonder “For the first time I am starting to like what I see.”
It seemed so natural for him, that it didn’t feel strange to see him painting the kids toenails and then painting his own. It wasn’t out of the ordinary to see him in a bubble bath at the end of the day, I laughed at how happy it made him. Choosing anniversary cards and birthday cards was easier. For the first time I felt like I knew how to really love him. A flower left on his desk or watching a movie while playing with his hair meant more to him then the silly sex ambushes all the marriage books recommended. After being married to someone who had kept part of themselves so mysterious for so long, it was a relief to be getting to know all of him. I didn’t want to lose that ever again.
That Christmas was the best we’d ever had. For the first five years of our married life I had wracked my brain every Christmas and birthday, trying to figure out what to get him. It was always bewildering to try and pinpoint what he would enjoy, and when I asked him what he wanted he couldn’t really come up with anything that sounded cool. I usually went with a book or some article of clothing in the end, but this year for the first time, I knew exactly what he wanted. I knew what he liked for the first time. I bought him a hair dryer and curling iron, tools for a trade that he told me he had always been interested in. We had hopes that going into cosmetology would get him involved in enough feminine things that he would be happy living as a male. He had experimented with some of my eye shadow, so I bought him a kit of his own to have fun with. And the pink fuzzy socks I threw in his stocking became something he wore almost every day they were clean.
Melissa, I am so glad that you and your husband are brave enough to share this journey.
ReplyDeleteThis post is so sweet ^^ It still kinda feels middle of the trip 'though. I'm really looking forward to the next installemnts =)
ReplyDeleteThank you.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your journey.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you for sharing your partner's story.
Your love is beautiful.
These posts are amazing. This one literally had me tearing up at my desk. Thank you for writing these so honestly.
ReplyDeleteThis has been my favorite post yet. I can see that you love your spouse very much and it resonates so clearly in this installment. I can't wait to read the next one. Thank you to you both for being so open, honest, and brave.
ReplyDeleteDrea
my favorite post yet too. LOVED this. made me cry. amazing.
ReplyDeleteThe parenting you describe makes me look like a chump. Thanks for writing about it. It encourages me to do better for my bride.
ReplyDeleteI certainly think that when you have children you have certain responsibilities to them. But you also have responsibilities to yourself, to care for yourself and to be the person you want to be.
DeleteIn other words, while I think that it's great for people to play with their children, it's also not something everybody necessarily likes, and if you don't you don't have an obligation to do it. Heck, I love children and I enjoy playing with them, and I love doing things I know they adore like spinning them around, and I think it's my duty as an adult* to give them this experience they won't get once they grow up (short of paying for amusement park rides) so it's my policy to continue doing it as long as I can, even after I get terribly bored with it... but that's the thing : I get terribly bored with it. Adults and children have different tastes, and their attention spans for different things are different too. I think it's no crime to do the stuff you want to do, and if you really hate doing something with your children they can probably sense it anyway.
I love my father and think he was a great father; I also love my grandfather. But I once heard my father talk about how his father had never played with him, and he'd never played with his children. I was actually confused by this; I had to think about it because for some reason that had never occurred to me. My father and I loved each other, we had fun together, we often enjoyed the same things, he'd taught me so much and shaped many of my tastes, what did he mean he'd never played with me ? But I guess it's true; I don't remember playing with my father that much. That doesn't make him a chump, or a bad father. I'd probably play with my children if I had them, but I honestly don't think it would have made a difference to me if my father had played with me as a child.
Of course I'm biased, but I guess what I mean is that there isn't a single Path To Good Parenthood. And Ultimate Good Parenthood isn't necessarily the minimum you need to attain either; children are resilient, and parents are human beings who can have other interests and priorities too.
*As in, it's a duty I have because I loved that kind of thing as a child and I'm an adult now and want to transmit that fun, not as in "it's a duty every single adult has"...
Hey IC- I agree with Caravelle. There are so many ways to be an involved parent, and every parent is different. I'm more of the mend your clothes make you cookies and sing you songs kind of parent, my spouse is more of a read you books, paint your nails, take you on a walk kind of parent. I've been to your house, and you appeared to be far from "chump" category, since I personally have seen you change daipers, do dishes, snuggle with kids play with them on the floor and play that rub their hair with a balloon and stick it to the ceiling game. Be inspired, to be yourself. :)
DeleteOh, my gosh, the love you have to share shines in every word. Maria
ReplyDeleteAll fathers, whether they wear pink fluffly slippers (The Man happens to wear a pair of Sock Monkey slippers every. single. day. I did buy them for him :).) or brown slipper-shoes, should be on the floor playing with their children, taking them for walks and sharing in the home responsibilities! The Man is always on the floor playing with our nieces and cares for our pups in the sweetest ways...loooong after I've lost my patience.
ReplyDeleteThank-you so much for sharing this story, and please, please please share my thanks and awe with your husband - this can't have been easy to write or put out here and your courage (both of you!) is beautiful.
I completely agree that all parents should be actively involved in their kids lives, regardless of what socks they enjoy wearing. :)I hope that every parent can grow to the point of having the ability and capacity to connect with and care for their children, it's not always easy, and it doesn't always come naturally.
DeleteI realized after I read your comment and reread mine that I was sounding a little "preachy" - I didn't mean to at all. This is what happens when I try to comment quickly from work. No, parenting doesn't come easy for many - men and women. It's so awesome that you are both so fully engaged with your kiddos - you both have much to teach us about working together and being willing to step out of the tapes of our childhoods to do better.
DeleteO No worries! I would hate for anyone to misunderstand me and somehow think that I was saying one has to be a feminine person in order to be an involved parent. It was more that as my spouse became more relaxed and happier in their own skin they were able to be more of the parent they wanted to be.
DeleteI think it came through very clearly that you meant it was the change in acceptance and your spouse's self-comfort levels that brought about the change in parenting. I'm sure your clarification here doesn't hurt though! Put me down as another one who teared up reading this. I've been eagerly awaiting each new installment.
DeletePeople ike you make the world a better place!
ReplyDeleteWhat Nancy said. I just cried reading this.
ReplyDeleteMelissa, I am so enthralled by your story. I am married to a trans woman also (though she was in the process of transitioning when I met her) and have a similar background to yours, so this is incredibly interesting to me.
ReplyDeleteYou and your spouse are very brave to open up like this. Thank you.
you rock!
ReplyDeleteAwwwwww that is so unspeakably adorable :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I love that you would shop for comfort while your spouse actually had style; whatever your actual genders, as someone who has little interest in clothes, and was actually allergic to shopping until a male friend took me by the shoulders and told me I needed to stop wearing clothes from the 70s and insisted on going shopping with me... I'm REALLY annoyed by that whole "men are practical, women are frivolous" thing going on with clothes. And so many other things.
If anything it might actually have handicapped me because I ran away from feminine things for so long. Not caring about clothes much is one thing, being panicked at the idea of entering a clothes store is something else. I wish I'd spent less time doing the latter. (aka reading Greta Christina's blog at 15 might not have changed much for me, but then again it might have)
You are such a considerate wife--I love that you picked such awesome gifts for him. Thank you for this series; it is fascinating and touching and thought-provoking all at once.
ReplyDeleteAwwwww...this installment was so touching and adorable! I am grinning ear to ear.
ReplyDeleteThe love you have for your husband through all this is to be commended, obviously. Many wouldn't go through to this point. But I have to be honest, this story is making me more and more uncomfortable as I read, and I can't help but wonder if *subconsciously* you "chose" a husband with issues because of your own past abuse and hurt. Like two wounded souls found one another. Which is good on one level, but I think now, has a very dark underside that's starting to show. I recognize that people who have been abused take comfort and respite in certain relationships just to survive, get away, and feel loved. But in the end analysis, I wish there was some kind of stop gap in the "process" that would warn those that have been abused that the first place they stop for love and a relationship may indeed be an unhealthy place, as well. Sort of like the "transitional" second spouse after a divorce, but also not the same. It's hard for me to say what I'm thinking. I equally find it disturbing that so many here want to applaud all of this while blatantly denying the obvious psychological and archetypical need of children for two parents of the opposite sex. I am just being as honest as you are here; for I sense an all-consuming urge on the part of many here to think that love and freedom (especially sexual freedom/license) only because it's the activist soup du-jour. Giving your husband hair tools for Christmas for a change in career is one thing for your kids to see, but pink fuzzy socks and makeup is another. It's not normal and it sends the wrong message. Yes, you also sent a message of love, but there's more in that message that was sent than you know. I know I'll get crucified for my comments, but I just can't hold back. I pray that this all turns out well, since you've made your bed and there are kids. (Also, I really hope people don't accuse me of being some right-wing Christian nut, because they really don't know and would be surprised where I'm really coming from.)
ReplyDeleteSo what if the initial relationship was an "unhealthy place" and a reaction to psychological wounds? When those wounds start being brought to light and healed for both people, that doesn't mean the relationship has to end! You would advocate throwing away years of love and companionship and not only the creation of but also the partnership in raising children, simply because one or both of the parents' personal identities aren't "normal"? I assure you, children are much more in need of parents who love them and love each other and know how to be honest about themselves than anything else. To suggest that two loving, open, self-reflective, committed parents aren't good enough for children, that sex differentiation is still required in spite of the rest, is just ludicrous. You were right in knowing you would be "crucified" for your comment. I'm not usually so defensively vehement in my responses to people, but your words have upset me.
DeleteMelissa, this is the first time I've commented on this series, but I'm reading with rapt attention and anticipating each new installment, and I think it's a beautiful and deeply human story. I'm touched by it and by the obvious transcendence of true love you and your spouse share. Keep it up. :)
CherÃ
I think what she's trying to convey is that even if something is not traditional, it doesn't mean its not normal. This is normal and she's sending a wonderful message to her children. the message that not everybody is the same but that's perfectly acceptable and fine. And children do not need two parents of the opposite sex: single parents, both mothers and fathers, do excellent jobs raising their children, along with loving gay and lesbian couples.
DeleteChildren shouldn't see their father getting pink socks for Christmas ? Because it isn't normal and sends the wrong message ? What message does it send exactly ? What is "not normal" about a man getting pink socks ? Do you mean it's unnatural ? Or that it is uncommon in our culture ?
DeleteDo you even realize what a ridiculous standard of normality you're suggesting when men getting pinks socks is something we shouldn't expose children to ?
It's nice that you're illustrating for everyone how absurd gender segregation can get. I just hope you aren't exposing any children to those ideas. Unlike the supposed dangers of same-sex parenting, there's actual evidence they cause harm.
I'm sorry, but did this commenter realize that Melissa didn't "choose" her spouse? Her parents did. The commenter should read Melissa's courtship series. Her parents picked and approved this spouse for her, and all she did was assent and trust her parents, which is what a woman in a courtship situation like this is supposed to do (google Christian Patriarchy, I dare ya). So she didn't "choose" a spouse "with issues."
DeleteWhile many girls growing up in christian patriarchy, have their husband selected by their parents, I did have a little more say. The pool of persons my parents approved of was very small, and yes, my spouse had to get approved by my father, but I did get to decide whether or not to start a relationship, or tell my dad to send him away. And I did get to say yes or no when I was proposed too, so yes I had a parent supervised and approved courtship, but I also got to decide if I really wanted to be with my spouse.
DeletePink fuzzy socks, really? That's where you'd draw the line?
DeleteWho said anything about throwing away or ending a relationship?
DeletePeople who feel like they don't "fit in" often end up together, yes, although only Melissa can speak to the extent that her and her spouse's common "oddness" played in their initial bond (I do think two people can sometimes recognize something in each other, even without realizing that that's what they're doing). How do you go from that to "and this is unhealthy?" If two people are using each other to validate self-destructive coping methods, that's bad, yeah. How is that what's going on here? Everything Melissa has ever written on her blog points to a great, healthy partnership and happy, well-adjusted, well-cared-for kids. I don't see how pink fuzzy socks changes any of that.
DeleteYa know, I shouldn't have to say this, but pink fuzzy socks are a human construct (I mean, seriously shouldn't have to say that; that might be the silliest sentence I have ever written). It's not written into our DNA who gets to wear them (and if it were, so what? Genetic variation happens). We DECIDE who gets to wear them and if it's been decided in Melissa's family that Daddy wears pink fuzzy socks, that's normal for them. There really can't be said to be "natural" behavior with regard to socks. (No, THAT'S the silliest sentence I've ever written.) Or anything else that humans invented. We created gender roles and we can destroy them too.
Also, I fail to see what this has to do with "sexual/freedom license." (which is not "soup du jour, btw," some feminists and other activists were arguing for increased sexual freedom and less rigid sexual mores in the 19th century.) This is about gender identity, not sexual behavior. Also, your claim about children needing two parents of opposite genders has been disproved again and again.
I don't really care if you're a "rightwing Christian nut" of if you're a bleeding heart liberal on all issues but this one. Your other opinions don't make these ones less unfounded or small-minded.
Kids need parents. They do best with two parents as opposed to one parent. The gender of those parents, however, don't matter – two dads or two moms do just as well as two opposite sex parents.
DeleteI'm not sure why you are concerned if a man wears pink socks or makeup. Or if he prefers other "feminine" things. It won't hurt the kids and it will teach them that it's ok to be themselves.
I like that pink socks and makeup have been construed as the "very dark underside" of the story. Surely it's the pink-and-rainbows underside? The fuzzy puppy underside? There's nothing dark at all in this part of the story.
DeleteThe "very dark" part of this issue is not the underside at all. The underside is the soft, hidden place where honesty lies. The underside is where people try to protect their true selves. The dark side is the one the world shows to them by declaring them abnormal, deficient, or depraved for simply being who they want to be.
Sierra, you beat me to it. Melissa said she cut back on "sex-ambushing" her husband and started giving him cards, flowers, and fluffy socks...and that's sexual licentiousness?
DeleteIt's not queer people who have sex on the brain all the time, it's the gender police.
Did you know pink used to be a boys color before the 1940's? It was thought a shade of red is masculine and not appropriate for girls, who should go with blues. Basically gender norms are what the marketing dept wants them to be, and all made up!
Delete"I equally find it disturbing that so many here want to applaud all of this while blatantly denying the obvious psychological and archetypical need of children for two parents of the opposite sex."
DeleteI'm sorry, this is "obvious" to whom how, exactly?
Anonymous @ 4/18, 11:39 writes: "I know I'll get crucified for my comments..."
DeleteWell, psychoanalyzing two people you've never met is a pretty good way to get slapped down on a blog, yeah.
Still, that's a pretty watered-down definition of "crucified" for a Christian to use. If the worst thing that happened to Jesus was that someone disagreed with him (usually politely and sometimes stridently), things would have been a lot different.
Nothing would have been different because Jesus came here with the purpose of giving His life for us.
Delete"pink fuzzy socks are a human construct"
DeleteI *love* this sentence, Petticoat Philosopher. It is things like this that inject laughter into our tears.
Not being a "right-wing Christian nut" isn't enough to make sure you actually know anything about parenting, Anonymous Martyr. Your discomfort with femininity is your problem, not anybody else's.
I'm sorry somebody taught you that gender should be so rigid; that's a pretty serious psychological condition that affects a remarkable number of people. Yes, I'm making fun of you, but I'm totally serious at the same time: "boys need to be like this, girls need to be like that" is a way of thinking that is harmful to just about everyone.
Let's also remember that many children grow up being raised by one parent or even a grand parent or other family member. The fact that they have two who love each other isn't really that bad.
DeleteAnon @ 4/19/12, 12:07 PM
DeleteSo things would, in fact, have been quite different if the only thing that happened to Jesus was that people expressed different opinions and made different arguments. He wouldn't have been crucified.
Of course, my obvious point was not a theological one. It's that you are VASTLY overstating what is happening here if you equate the disagreements being expressed with your being crucified.
1) the two parent mixed gender household pretty picture we have? Very recent. Look it up some time.
Delete2) why is it required to have a gender binary? People aren't really like that. Pay attention and you'll see.
3) let me also add that while it is nice to have male and female parent, there's no real statistical difference between that and two parents.
all this is not only researched but my ancedotal evidence agrees.
You can't see it, but I'm sniffling. That was a beautiful piece of writing, and a wonderful way for a relationship to... grow? mature? ...something like that, anyway.
ReplyDeleteWhat a heartwarming post. The image of him at bedtime with a wagon full of kids is so beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThis "It was as if his world had become more 3-dimensional." doesn't surprise me - I imagine it was like me trying to hope that no-one would find out some thing I'd lost or forgotten to do, only so very much huge-er. I'm surprised he didn't get an ulcer!
Sarah
This whole series is one of the most compassionate and loving pieces I have ever read.
ReplyDeleteI am fervently praying that God will continue to bless you, your Hunnie, and your kiddos--you are an amazing example of love and grace.
I'm a lurker who's been following your story with great interest, and I have to admit that the utter love, compassion and understanding shining throughout this chapter made me tear up. I can't wait to see what's next in store for you and your partner and children.
ReplyDeleteWow. My thoughts are all over the place. In regards to Anonymous' comment about the pink slippers, I think her feelings stemmed more from the fact that Melissa was so accepting of her husbands Freedom. What you have to understand is, different people at different places in life, will have different reactions. It's very hard for me to put myself in Melissa's shoes and say I'd do the same thing. My heart tells me that IF God hates divorce and selfishness, then he also hates the actions of being unsupportive to a spouse in need.
ReplyDeleteMelissa, my heart goes out to you. This is some real life shit. Stuff your "regular, go about your own business" folk dont hear about everyday. I came here for advice about discipline, and found Life. And boy, was I waiting anxiously for part 5. This installment definitely shocked me the most... so far. But it's only because it's not what I am used to and it's not because I don't agree with what you are doing. You are a brave woman. Your questions with God then, are similar to my questions with God now. Although, I still believe there is a God and that he cares for us all. In the bible it says he chose us. That doesn't apply to just 'perfect' people. I don't understand why there can't be a love for God and a love for all people as they are.
A little off the topic... What's different (to me) is that this situation is not about "sex", but a person within a person. I think where society gets hung up is most of the time the discomfort or issue is about sex, which in any case (sexual orientation) if used in a wrong way can be an issue. People of all sexual orientations do some crazy stuff (too much to list), so society picks the weakest link to abolish. I wish people would take some of that energy and use it abolish child molesters and rapists. To society: Instead of worrying so much about your kids seeing two men holding hands, worry about what sex related things your kids are seeing on TV and what your daughters are wearing out of the house. Worry about what YOUR kids are doing with their boyfriend instead of what HE is doing with his. My oldest is 4 and I admit that I have not yet addressed any topics LGBT related. I still don't know exactly what I am going to say. I teach him now that we are ALL Gods children and we should love and respect one another.
I definitely carried on. Good night and GOD bless.
It's wonderful and tremendously moving to read about couples who are able to handle painful and socially taboo issues with such a degree of courage, honesty and mutual tenderness. I admire you both very much.
ReplyDeleteOn a personal level, it's also fascinating to read about your journey of looking at these issues through the lenses of different types of Christianity. As a bisexual woman, who has been romantically and sexually active with men and women since my mid-teens, it's very strange to me to hear the Catholic church's position praised as being compassionate and realistic. I was struck by this before in one of your previous posts when you referred to the Catholic church as teaching that men and women were more affectively suited than men and men, or women and women. It is so strange to read this when one comes from outside any church, and from the experience of having had passionate romantic and sexual relationships with both men and women, in which gender was certainly not the determining factor in how affectively powerful and spiritually or sexually fulfilling the relationship was.
I'm in a monogamish relationship now with a cisgendered, heterosexual man and we've just celebrated our seventh anniversary. He has always known about my bisexuality and supports it, even to the extent of opening the relationship when a year or so ago, I experienced a very passionate attraction to a female friend. But we are so close that generally we prefer monogamy. I guess what I'm trying to say is that when you truly love someone, it's wonderful to discover they way all kinds of other priorities show themselves rearranged in new and different lights.
I've been thinking a lot about love recently, and how it's twofold: it's necessary to have the kind of love for your partner that you just feel and express in whatever way comes naturally to you. But it's also necessary to understand that your partner experiences and processes love differently to you, and to make the effort to show them love in ways that they recognise, and that will really make them feel loved, like Melissa giving her partner gifts that speak to his own experience of himself.
Thank you for sharing your story. The love you two share is beautiful. Your children are fortunate indeed to have such parents that care so much for each other and them. I have no doubt they will grow up to be wonderful accepting and loving adults.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I both have abusive parents and have been healing together so I understand at least a tiny bit how difficult it can be to break through all those misconceptions about the world and take the risk of being open with someone that you couldn't bear to lose. Our love, happiness and acceptance of ourselves has only deepened as we worked together to shed the wrongs of our pasts.
Thank you again. Your strength of character and your abiding love for your husband is an inspiration.
Dear Melissa,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story. We are going through the same process right now, and my husband just started hormones a week ago. Our parents are struggling with accepting the changes. My mother told me to divorce him. We've been together for 18 years and have 4 beautiful children. Why would I leave my best friend? If you'd ever like to chat, I'm Sapphire on Helen's forum.
This is beautiful, and I really want to link "When Things Don't Add Up" by itself. I seem to be having trouble commenting though. :(
ReplyDeleteSorry about the confusion, I moderate comments because otherwise there is no way I would catch each on to be able to read it. I do publish every comment, unless it is abusive to a fellow commenter or completely unrelated to the post it is left on.
DeleteYou and I really have got to get together, face-to-face someday and hang out. I really just love you and your family. I know that sounds kind of strange maybe from someone you have never met face to face, but I have tears in my eyes and joy in my heart reading this post, Melissa. I also think your husband and my husband would really get along.
ReplyDeleteThis entry brought me to tears. It is so amazing to hear about this level of love. This is what a marriage is truly about. Love, compassion, understanding and above all other things acceptance of your partner. You are both an inspiration in what it takes to truly love and accept people for who they are.
ReplyDeleteI know that there are a lot of comments, but right now I am so wrapped up in your beautiful story that I just wanted to say thanks to both of you for sharing this. I'll try to come back later and read the conversations.
ReplyDeleteI am crying as I read this because it so honestly reflects love: in a way I've really never seen before, and in a way I wish more people could know.
I am about to cry reading how happy you were to find a way to show your spouse such love and acceptance. What a beautiful, beautiful thing.
ReplyDelete